I don’t always have time to chat with my wife, primarily when I work 12-hour days, not including the 45-minute drive to and from work. So we email each other when time permits. This exchange was funny to me, and I wanted to share it / save it for later viewing. (This is slightly edited to remove any identifiers of my work environment).
Me:
I am in intake today. I have two people with me that are new but not to the system, so they are in training but have already been doing this for a while, so it is not so intense. I hope your day goes well, and that your mom doesn’t drive you crazy. Love you
Wife:
Hey Love,
I ended up taking more sinus medicine and sleeping. Mom has a couple of appointments this week, so I don’t think we are gonna get together this week unless it’s tomorrow, but it’s supposed to rain, and I’m not sure she’ll want to. I’m trying to take all the things that dry up the sinuses and reduce inflammation, but that’s also making me very groggy, however my ear drum doesn’t hurt and I’m able to breathe through my nose more often. Feel like I’m walking around with a sleep hangover, though. I want to be able to enjoy the weekend with you.
I love you lots.
Me:
I hope that all this does help you. I appreciate everything you are doing and hope this weekend is enjoyable for us all. It’s good your mom didn’t come over; that way, you’re not trying to be a “good host” for your mom having to hear about how she has also been through what you’re going through but only worse, and she knows exactly how you feel. From your description I am imagining you with a lumbering gait, groaning every once in a while, much like the zombies seen in beloved horror flicks like, Scooby-Do’s Zombie Island, Redneck Zombies, Rave to the Grave Isn’t A Party You’d Want An Invite To, or ZomBeavers. If you thought I would have picked some better movies to describe your zombie walk, I didn’t want to trivialize your illness… and I’m not sure your coordination at this moment is silver screen quality. But enough of all this zombie talk, let’s talk about me. 😊 I am still in intake, waiting for the next cattle truck full of aliens to be off-loaded into this middle-of-nowhere desert hotel, listening to training videos on Abuse and assault, Cybersecurity, and the NO Fear Act. All of these videos are very enlightening -_- and a refreshing look into our work culture. I might not make it home today; I am not sure if I will be the first to die from “Death by PowerPoint”. I am starting to believe it is a real thing.
I hope this put a smile on your face. Love you
Wife:
Rave to Grave sounds like the most terrifying of all the options because rave implies multiple people will be there and I just know I’d end up cleaning a cooking for the cunts before I could joint the rave myself and then die. Or I’d be stuck listening to one zombie and how they didn’t get enough brains when they were five and how that has caused deathlong challenges for them.
The fog is beginning to lift and I’m tinkering around doing laundry. I plan to put on a show and stand there putting clothes on hangers and occasionally rocketing a loogie outta my head for funsies.
Also, let me know if there are any videos you want me to search for on youtube that can enhance your training, maybe we can sit on the sofa with a decent gap between us for a nice sexual harassment in the workplace video and occasionally make eye contact so that it shows that we’re friendly but respectful of each other’s personal space.
Fond wishes